July 20, 2002

What does it mean to be a righteous husband? I’ve been thinking about that a little today. What does Faye need? What do I give her? Faye needs love. Do I give her the love she needs? Faye needs me to always treat her with respect and to consider her thoughts and feelings and possible reactions before I say or do things. Sometimes I say things that come out wrong and I upset her. When we talk about it, I realize that the words I used didn’t convey the message I was trying to get across. In simpler terms, sometimes I say stupid things. The worst part is that I don’t even feel the things I say, it is as if sometimes I think I need to say something and without considering my words, something stupid comes out. I need to change. I love Faye so much. She is such a wonderful wife and mother. That I would ever do or say something to offend her sickens me. I need her like I need water. She fills me up as a deep breath of mountain air and is the fire that I feel burning inside me. I pray that I will always be the same to her. I believe that I am, and always will be.

July 13, 2002

Doug is such a beautiful boy. It is so neat to see him grow and learn a little more each day. When I think of the commandment to become as a little child and watch Doug I think of patience and determination. Although his physical abilities are uncoordinated, he is patient with himself as he repeatedly tries to put a cheerio in his mouth, and finally he gets it. Also, when he gets fixed on something he wants he is undeterred in his quest to get it, no matter what he has to crawl over or how far he has to stretch and reach or how many times you take him away from it (it it's something he shouldn't play with). The sweetest part is that it is not a frustrated effort, no matter how hard or how many times he has to try to get what he wants he is never frustrated, he just keeps at it with the same zeal and excitement as the first time. It is beautiful to watch, and sometimes tiring, especially if you are trying to keep him away from something. He is a wonderful boy and the spirit he brings into the home is pure and beautiful. I love him so much and am so thankful that I can be his dad. I am also so thankful for the mother he has, Faye is the mother everyone should aspire to be. But even still, we both have lots of ways to grow into better parents. We were both thinking about making a quick trip out to L.A. tomorrow for a reception for entering students at Griffith but decided against it today. Mostly, we don't want to push our car too hard. Also, that's a heck of a lot of driving for a three hour reception. So we will enjoy the sabbath here in Phoenix, which will be nice since we missed church last Sunday because of travel. I'd hate to miss two weeks in a row. 

July 12, 2002

I'm so excited for the future. I am really looking forward to law school. To get where I want, I feel I just have to out work everybody. That will be tough, but I am comforted knowing that Faye and I are side by side, we both know what I need to do to succeed and we both want me to be successful. I am so thankful for this month Faye and I have to just be together. Her company is the best company. But I will have to sacrifice the company of Faye for the company of books before too long. Thankfully, I will have her supportive smile at the end of every day and her and her warm embrace at night to remind me how lucky I am and why I want to succeed, because she makes me feel like I can do anything. 

July 11, 2002 - The Calm Before the Storm

What a wonderful time to be alive! Faye, Doug and I are staying in my Uncle Dwight's empty house in Phoenix, Arizona awaiting our move to Los Angeles at the end of the month. I start law school at Griffith Law School in the middle of August. One week ago today was the Fourth of July. We woke up that day in a tent with my mom, dad, Joe and Keith in Monterey, California. We drove to Sacramento and began the Braswell family reunion with hamburgers and fireworks. It was great to see everybody at the reunion. The more time passes, the more fortunate I feel for the family and extended family I have.

Except for a few things, the days ahead before we move to L.A. will be very relaxing and very rewarding in that I will spend every moment with Faye. I am so thankful for this month in limbo we have to just be together as a family having moved away from our home in Tucson, but not quite to our new life in Los Angeles.

On TV this morning I caught a replay of last night's ESPY awards from the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, about a half mile from where we will be living in about a month. By far the most memorable and touching was the courage award given to Todd Beamer, Mark Bingham, Tom Burnett, and Jeremy Glick, the four members of United Flight 93 who, it is believed, saved the nation from more terror on the horror of September 11 by forcing the plane to crash in the western Pennsylvania countryside, preventing the terrorists from accomplishing their evil mission. I hope the actions and memory of those men will burn into the souls of all Americans, a reminder of the courage we all need to overcome the evil in the world. The night is darkening and the shadows creep in to envelop us. Let's roll.